Don't Make Me Wait!
by ASlaveToWords
Summary: Keiko doesn't like waiting. In fact, she REALLY doesn't like waiting. What happens when Yusuke tells her he'll call and she's stuck waiting around for him ALL DAY!


**A/N:** This is a sort of parody I extracted from a play my school did once called 'Wait Wait Bo Bait'. It's a bunch of little skits put together with the theme 'wait'. This is a combination of a few pieces I put together from it and changed the characters, along with some lines and other stuff, but the idea still, sadly, isn't mine. I thought it would be cute if Keiko was the person in it. Anyway, I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters, or the idea of this story.

* * *

Sitting all alone in her room, Keiko Yukimura eyed her phone anxiously, ready to pounce at any moment. She was sitting cross-legged on the head of her bead while the phone sat at the foot of it. Glancing up at her mirror, which sat on her dresser in front of her, she did a double-take when her reflection seemed to be mocking her.

"I'm not waiting." She said, assuring the brunette looking back at her. "I just happen to be here in my room sitting by the phone. But I'm not waiting. This is the twenty-first century. Women do not wait by phones waiting for men to call. Nosiree. That would be pathetic. And sad. Very twentieth century. Nineteenth century even. If they had phones. So that's not what I'm doing here. There's a perfectly good explanation for why I happen to be sitting in this particular location. Right by the phone."

Keiko paused for a moment as she thought, then smiled and looked back at the girl in the mirror.

"There's nothing on TV. All my friends are busy and there's no good movies out right now anyway. I have a plethora of music to listen to at my fingertips. It's much more comfortable sitting on the bed then it would be anywhere else. Most chairs are hard and not good for your back. It's much better to sit here and it just so happens that the phone is in front of me. That's all. That's all there is to it."

Suddenly Keiko's expression changed and her fists clenched in front of her.

"Ring! Ring! Would you just ring you stupid piece of machinery! Ring and stop ruining my life!!"

Glancing back up at her mirror again, Keiko noticed that the girl behind the glass seemed to be openly mocking her now and she quickly calmed down and set herself into a relaxed pose again.

"Or don't ring." She said indifferently. "I don't care. I'm not waiting for anything. Nosiree. Nothing at all."

* * *

Hours later found Keiko standing atop her bed, a round hairbrush in her hand and the phone in the exact same spot as she proceeded to sing at the top of her lungs -- in no particular tune and quite off key one might add.

"Oh Mr. Phone. Why don't you ring? Why don't I hear you sing in the night? Oh Mr. Phone. One ding-a-ling is all I need to make it right."

The brunette stopped and looked around the room as if she were atop a stage in a local night club, looking around at all the faces admiring her.

"Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm here all week."

The brunette then began to pace on her bed, still looking out at her imaginary audience.

"You know, just before I go, I'd like to send out a little word. Just a little word out there to all the guys in the world."

The brunette stopped pacing and began her off-key singing again.

"To all the guys in the world. If you meet that special girl. Don't make her wait by the phone. All alone. 'Cause that's not nice. She might curse you and wish you had lice. How'd you like that? Have to shave your head and buy a new hat."

Keiko stopped talking and once again spoke to her audience.

"Thank you. Thank you very much. Try the buffet. All you guys out there in the world. Could you do us gals a favor? It's just a simple, teeny, tiny, little thing. If you don't wanna call a girl, then don't ask for her number. Sounds easy don't you think audience? Don't ask for her number. Don't look her in the eyes and say; 'I'm going to call you.' Don't say it. Don't say those five little words. Would that be so hard? I don't think so. 'I'm going to call you.' Five little words that make girls all over the world cancel their plans and sit in their rooms going absolutely mental waiting for stupid boys to call. I know my life would be a lot better off if I had never heard them, isn't that right audience?"

Keiko took the hairbrush away from her mouth and held it out as if she were holding a microphone out to a crowd. After a few moments pause, she put it back to her mouth again with a smile.

"Ah, you're a beautiful crowd." She said professionally, beginning to sing again.

"For centuries girls have waited for that invitation to the ball. 'Cause a stupid boy has told her -- I'm going to call. For centuries girls have believed but over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again we've been deceived. When will we learn? When will we ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever learn."

Keiko stopped singing and took a bow, then another, and another.

"Thank you. Thank you very much. Tip your waitress! Our next act is Grammy Sam and his trained seal Jo Jo. Jo Jo can play 'you light up my life' on the castanets. Let's hear it for Jo Jo!"

Keiko began applauding as she bowed herself off stage.

* * *

Looking into Keiko's room, one would think that it was empty. But upon a closer inspection, you would see a small creature, just a tiny thing, appearing from a tiny space between the wall and the bed. The tiny creature moved it's head and looked around at it's surroundings before speaking.

"Where's Keiko?" The tiny creature asked in a high-pitched, squeaky voice -- oddly enough, appearing to look exactly like the sock previously adorning Keiko's small foot.

The creature spoke again.

"Where's Keiko? How come she's not sitting by the phone anymore? What's the matter with Keiko? Could it be she's lying on the floor in a pit of despair? Oh no. Not our Keiko. She'd never lie on the floor in a pit of despair just because she waited all day and all night for a boy to call and HE NEVER DID."

The creature closed its mouth and seemed to take a calming breath before speaking again.

"Oh. Oh. Inside voice. No need to shout."

Suddenly a loud shrill resounded throughout the room and the creature looked down at the offending object.

"What's that? Is that the phone? I do believe that's the phone. But who could it be? It couldn't be Yusuke. Noooooooo. That would be just too cute. Make a girl go absolutely crazy bonkers and then call. That would be something special wouldn't it?"

A fuzzy, mangled mop of brown hair appeared from behind the bed, soon followed by a head, two arms and a torso. The head looked down at the ringing phone and let it cry two more times before attempting to smooth her crazed hair and finally picking it up.

"Hello? Loony Bin Incorporated. Who? Keiko? Hold on a sec, I'll get her."

The brunette starred into space for a few moments, then blinked a few times and finally turned her attention back to the phone.

"Hello? Yes, this is she. Why Yusuke. Yusuke Frickin'-Urameshi. It's Yusuke Frickin-Urameshi I've got on the phone. It's that special. It's that just oh so lovely. Why no, there's nothing wrong with me. Nope. I'm like fresh bread. Fresh bread rising in a pan, that's what I feel like Yusuke Frickin-Urameshi. I feel like a big ole loaf of fresh bread. Is there something you wanted? Is there a reason for this ever-so-timely call? A date? You want a date? Next weekend. Seven o'clock. A movie! Isn't that lovely. Oh I love movies."

Keiko got to her feet and placed her free hand on her hip, ready to tell Yusuke exactly what she thought of him and his insistence to make her wait.

"Well, Yusuke Frickin-Urameshi, let me tell you something. Let me lay it all on the line for you. I would... I would like to say.... I just want to..."

Keiko paused a moment as she struggled with her words. Suddenly her fist clenched in front of her in excitement and a huge smile split her face.

"Yes! Yes! I would love to go on a date with you. I would love to see a movie with you. I would love to go out next weekend at seven o'clock."

In a blink the cheery face grew deadly serious as her hand went again to rest threateningly on her hip.

"Just one thing. Don't. Be. Late. I'm a girl who doesn't like to be kept waiting!"


End file.
